


death hides it in its emptiness

by fatalsam (samej)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Introspection, M/M, erotic asphyxiation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-05 11:26:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5373620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samej/pseuds/fatalsam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The truth is in the details, it is said, the truth is in the small things and the greater good was not made for Naruto, he <i>has</i> to save them all.</p><p>(You don’t get to choose who handles your heart. There are simply people who were born with it in their teeth. When you meet them, it is best to build a bomb shelter.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	death hides it in its emptiness

**Author's Note:**

> So. This is a rewrite/translation of a fic of my own, and English is not my first language, please be kind.
> 
> The title/quote is a rough and unworthy translation of Mario Benedetti's poem "[Intimidad](http://www.poemas-del-alma.com/mario-benedetti-intimidad.htm)".

_Our intimacy is so inmense that death hides it in its emptiness_

Sakura asks him once, before the war, before they encounter him again and Naruto acts as is his first time in three years, too. 

“Wouldn’t you rather love him less?”

Naruto can see that she would. She’d prefer not to feel the pain on the mornings, when she remembers he is away, would prefer not to feel the pain on the nights, knowing that she will spent another day without him. 

**

The thing is, some part of Naruto enjoys this in a twisted way, even if it’s horrible and doesn’t let him breath right, because the pain makes him go onwards, he makes him feel alive.

He shrugs. Sakura doesn’t dig deeper.

**

The truth is that he wouldn’t even if he could. Because this is not something that Naruto chose, just as no one can choose where he is born, but he actually would choose it if it were possible. The truth is in the details, it is said, the truth is in the small things and the greater good was not made for Naruto, he _has_ to save them all.

He doesn’t even consider not to save the closest to him, is not an option, not for him. 

**

“We don’t want you to die, Naruto”

Says Kakashi, when Sasuke disappears _yet again_ and they are coming back to Konoha. There is worry in his tone, and there are doubts; and Naruto can hear “Don’t die for him” on it. He thinks “You know nothing”. 

Naruto walks some distance without answering until Kakashi rests his hand on Naruto’s shoulder, he makes him stop and look at him.

**

They don’t know, they don’t get it.

**

They don’t know about being twelve and knowing more about kicking each other’s ass than kissing but doing both things with equal enthusiasm. They don’t know about touching him under the clothes with no experience apart than his own, hurting each other and learning by trial and error; they don’t know about fights that ended with both coming in the other’s hand, they don’t know about Sasuke’s fingers in his ass, too dry and how even like that they took him to the edge, once, and again, and again. 

They don’t know about being fifteen and look for the other in unknown cities, they have no idea about how Jiraiya looked at him when he came back, looking like shit, the shoulders and the hips full with bites and bruises. He was limping half of the time and was not because of the scratchs on the legs.

They don’t know about Sasuke’s hand in his throat, Sasuke on top of him with the hair before his eyes, Naruto’s cock up to the balls inside of him, riding him, pressing his hand and making hard to breath, he was dizzed and pained and he liked it.

They always finished almost fainted, almost broken. 

On those seconds of pure vulnerability, as they allowed to face the other with their soul in their eyes, Naruto used to think “One day we’ll kill each other”, as he started to breath normally again.

Sasuke used to whisper it, his voice scratchy.

**  
Naruto places his hand on top of Kakashi’s,

( _I’d die for him I’d die with him I’d die to kill whoever hurt him I’d die while biting his flesh I’d die with his hand on my throat_

also

 _I’m going to save him and he is coming back and we are fighting again and I can’t be a Hokage if I don’t save him and I can’t be anything if I don’t save him_ ).

...he breathes and smiles and hopes his eyes don’t betray him telling the truth

“Come on, I’m not going to die”.

They don’t believe him anyway. He notices because Sakura and Kakashi look at him with something next to compassion.

He finds out, no surprise, he doesn’t really mind.


End file.
